I’ve Been A Bad, Bad, Writer – Lesson 2
In an effort to embrace all which I do well, I present…Truly Bad Writing.
Today’s Lesson: The Ellipsis; it’s misuse, overuse, and abuse…
Jacky the Jackal
For Jacky James there had never been an easier job. Right from the go everything flowed perfectly…smooth as glass. The alarms were quickly disabled, and the tellers gave no resistance…not a word. And the manager? He was completely impotent. In a job like this the manager is always the wild card…you never know what he’s going to do. There’s always the chance some schmuck might take it personal and cut loose with the heroics. It could be anybody, even Joe Blow off the street, but usually…it was the manager.
This job had none of that. Easy as pie…and twice as sweet. Jacky had become better and better at keeping the situation under control. He was a pro. And by his calculations, he would need only a few more of these jobs before he was all set. He needed just a bit more cash then…BAM! Goodbye Jacky James, hello Jacky the Jackal…super villain extraordinaire.
It wasn’t the best thought out plan. In fact, Jacky wasn’t exactly sure what a jackal was, but he could spell it…and he was going with it. All he needed now was the start-up capital. The Jackal Suit…the sporty Jack-car…The Jackal signature move…that would all come behind the cash. As Jacky always said…cash brings class.
He left the bank through the emergency exit door…this was his modus operandi. Jacky liked setting off the alarms as he departed. He kept his business in the bank cool and calm…but when he left, Jacky liked leaving behind a state of chaos… mass confusion. Sure, this was a quirk. Sure, it dramatically cut down his get-away time…but to Jacky…it was pure class. Jackal style.
Walking through the back alley, alarms wailing behind him, and carrying a hefty round sack with a large dollar sign on it…Jacky became preoccupied. He pondered what would make a cool Jackal calling card…something, in addition to the alarms, he could leave behind after a job. Something classy…like a glove…or a toothpick. He was too immersed to notice the shadow move across the ally’s entrance. It wasn’t until he looked up that he noticed the figure standing before him…blocking his escape.
‘So…we meet again, Jacky.’
The Blue Cape of Justice fluttered softly from her shoulders mingling with her flowing auburn hair…thigh-high Boots of Super Magnetic Attraction parted and planted firmly on the concrete…the Ruby Sash of Best Wishes draped tightly across her bosom…it was Super Good Intention Girl.
‘…awe, jeeze…no.’ This was all Jacky had time to say before Super Good Intention Girl whipped out her Gun of Goodness.
G.I.G. fired without warning…but was only fast enough to nick Jacky as he quickly dove behind a dumpster. Even though it was only a scratch on his right forearm…Jacky felt a slight, yet strangely compelling urge to return the money and apologize for any trouble he may have caused.
He shook it off…but he knew if he took a direct hit from that damn Gun of Goodness it would be curtains for him…and all his diabolical plans. He had to get away…but how?
To be continued…